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Much like with stand-up, in the bedroom, I had beginner's luck that gave me a false impression of my abilities. In college, I hooked up with a woman who lost her shit at my slightest touch. How could I not think I was truly the gangster of love? Alas, other women didn't experience complete particle reversal by simply having me blow in their ear.

It got worse. Much worse. I wasn't going to come anyway Not only did I feel horribly inadequate, but I also felt like a knuckle-dragging cretin. I was inside her, for Pete's sake! Why weren't the women I bedded immediately spasming in ecstasy? I mean, didn't I put my sex part in her sex part? Wasn't I pumping away like I had seen in all those Skinemax movies?

Obviously, I had more work to do. But what did I really know about women? And I am the son of an ob-gyn! I knew that to make a baby, people had to make the sex together. I didn't know where the clitoris was or the mythical G-spot for that matter, but I did know what I saw in movies, and the movies told me that to take a lady to Pleasantville, some amount of oral sex was involved. So I entered a period wherein much of my Make your woman have a massive orgasm repertoire consisted of adhering myself to a young lady's labia majora like a hungry sea barnacle.

Results were mixed. With each partner, Make your woman have a massive orgasm Buteyfull lades sexy xxx porn imgas what I was doing wrong. Like not using my fingers and going too heavy on the tongue. I think I may have pulled it a time or two. But I'd become accustomed to rejection, so rather than settle into early-onset celibacy, I soldiered on.

Make your woman have a massive orgasm like my routine, it got better! I think the secret to finally understanding what it took to please a lady came when I found the right one. We both had super-awkward bedroom fun until we weren't scared Make your woman have a massive orgasm each other anymore and started having mind-bending fun.

One night, she told me how she liked it, what angles were "no" and what angles made her say, "More, please! Ladies, talk to us. You tell a barista how you like your latte. Baristas aren't mind-readers, and neither is your guy. And for guys, bringing a woman to orgasm makes us feel unstoppable — 19 percent not mere gangsters of love but veritable "Oh, my god-fathers.

Follow Jordan Carlos on Twitter jordancarlos. This article was originally published as " Ladies! Help Us Help You! Click here to get the issue in the iTunes store! Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.

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